Phone

So today I finally received Ryan's cell phone from the sheriffs department. They held it as evidence after Ryan's death and took almost two months to release it to me. It was a difficult time going through and reading the text messages from that Friday, especially seeing the "missed calls" and "unread texts" that came after he passed. I could see the ones he read but I knew what time he died and I know I texted and called him past that time, not having known he was no longer alive. Acknowledging that on his phone was like having to say good-bye yet again. One surprising new thing was a picture he had taken on his phone that Friday morning. He had a family picture in his car with him and took a picture of it that morning. Oh, how my heart aches to just have the chance to hug and comfort him again. I miss him so much.