Good-byes

Our time in Texas was a whirlwind of busy, both sad and healing. So many goodbyes for us. The children want to stay in Texas (California was never home for them), so taking that away from them was hard for me. So many tearful goodbyes. We arrived in California last night and I am hit so hard this morning with the reality that I have to get up each morning and start a new day. And I don't know how to do that. It is scary and lonely. I am praying Jesus make his presence so known to me that I get brief moments of relief from the pain. The quiet is so scary to me. I know the stress of travel, the memorial, packing up, and goodbyes was not good for my body at all, but now that I have a few days to let my body rest, I don't know what to do. I almost want the stress back to keep me going. But the next few days are my time to rest before my children's birthdays and then planning the funeral. The quiet in which to rest is so painful. Thank you for just letting me vent.
This is a picture of Charlie hugging our Texas house good-bye before we left.