proposal

Six months ago today a wonderful guy asked me out for lunch.  After two hours of conversation over yummy Mexican food, I realized I really wanted to get to know this sweet person better. We then spent most of the spring and summer going on all kinds of adventures together - some awesome hikes, Disneyland, local plays, cooking together, painting together, and even meeting up with our kids in Hawaii.  I have watched our children play and bond and I have had someone to ask parenting advice to when being a single parent just plain stinks.  In the past six months a beautiful, loving, and joyous friendship has formed.  And our four children - his daughter and son and my daughter and son - have all built giggly, fun, precious friendships that warm my heart.  They ask when we are getting together and my children seem disappointed when they have to do something with just mommy alone.  Laughter and noise and joy fill my home when Dan and his kids visit.  And it’s a joyful noise that my kids and I have just craved after the grief and quiet of past seasons.  God has been so good to us these past six months and I am so thankful. 

This past weekend, while out on one of our many adventures together, Dan and I stopped for a picnic lunch at the beach.  There by our picnic blanket I “found” two geode rocks just lying amidst some other shoreline rocks.  One sparkly rock was cracked open and the other one still whole.  I was so amazed at what I found and excitedly showed Dan.  He encouraged me to crack the second one open so we could see what was inside.  I worked on it and cracked it open.  Inside was a ring.  And then Dan asked me to marry him and spend forever with him.  I was surprised, I teared up, was speechless, and I said yes.  I love you forever, Dan.

I am happy.  I have been happy here and there in every season, but I feel deeply contently happy in this season.  I feel spoiled that I get to love both Ryan and Dan.  That I have permission to do that.  I am thankful for a past that shaped me and Ryan’s love that matured me but also that God would allow me to keep all that and still move me forward into a new season.  It is a gift I do not take for granted.  Dan and his children are a gift in my life.  And I am humbled to see my children cling to their daddy in heaven but now will have Dan come alongside them for future years, along with new friends to laugh and grow with.  It is absolutely beautiful for me to see my children hold that space for their daddy, knowing no one fills that space, but also see them let their hearts enlarge enough to allow others to come in to love and support them.  I have said before that my prayer has been that God use all my pain to keep my heart tender and loving, not hardened or closed.  And He is faithful.  I have been brought to tears to see joy and love begin to form and then bloom.  And I know there will be challenges as the two of us (the six of us) begin to blend our lives together, but we all are so excited about the challenges and the adventure that we can’t wait.  God is so good.  All the time. 

the geodes I “found” 

 

attempting to take a picture under a waterfall  

 

 

 

   

 

Dan made this cute graphic