oscars

The Academy Awards were on TV tonight.  I did not watch them because I have not kept up with any of the films actually being nominated, but the Oscars always trigger a random memory for me - the day I met Ryan the Academy Awards were on TV that same night, in the year 2000.  I do not even really know why I remember that, I just vaguely remember asking what he was up to that evening and him saying something about maybe ordering pizza and maybe watching the Oscars.  But every year when I see the awards on TV, I remember that.  And I had mentioned it to Ryan several times over the years and he always laughed that I remembered that random fact.  I don’t have a picture of the day I met Ryan but this picture below was probably taken about a month or so after I met him, sometime in early 2000, it’s the first picture of the two of us together.

forgiveness

As part of the last day of our residency every semester, we go on a silent retreat for almost twenty-fours.  It is a practice where we can let the lessons and works from the previous week sink deeply into our hearts, let our souls heal, and listen for what God is telling us through it all.  I actually have come to look forward to it as a morning where I get to sleep in after a week of sunrise chapel!  But each time I have done these silent retreats, I catch up on sleep (which we are encouraged to do) and then listen for what God is speaking to me throughout the day.  It is usually such a sweet time of inner peace and deep contentment.

This particular time, however, I began the retreat feeling particularly, and surprisingly, agitated.  I went through some of the activities and practices they give for us to do to help us focus or guide our time, and my agitation only grew.  At some point that morning I knew I needed to address a root of bitterness growing in my heart before I could really have ears to listen.  Sigh.  I love gardening but dealing with weeds has never been one of my favorite activities.  So I was not particularly happy about digging up the cause of this bitter root.  But it needed doing.  

I was holding onto a bitterness that I had to work through and I realized it had to do with someone I had been quite unloving to, in my deeds and in my words.  And, oh, I could so very quickly justify my all my actions, but that is not the point.  The point is that I obviously needed to offer forgiveness and share God’s love, regardless of the circumstances surrounding this person, because not only was it the right thing to do, but it was needed to set me free from the bitterness that could grow.  It had to happen before I could move forward.

So I started writing.  Not even really sure where my writing was going.  But an hour later I ended up with a letter.  It was a specific letter that I know spoke God’s truth to this person in their pain.  But as I later reread it, I realized that these words I wrote could, and should, apply to every one of my relationships, with everyone I know.  So I took part of my letter and shared it below, because it is not only how I seek to see my friends, family, and acquaintances, but it is how God sees them.  And I want to have God’s view.

Here is a portion of my letter that I write to you that are reading this now:

Dear Friend, 

Please do not read my letter with the mindset of crafting a mental reply, no reply is needed, but please just receive the words as they come.
This past week my most favorite teacher and respected mentor gave a lecture on ‘transforming with compassionate caring.’  In the scope of that lecture he identified two ways of unloving.  One by assault, whether anger or contentiousness or controlling, any action that is against the good of the other person.  The second by withdrawal of interest and presence that communicates the deep hurt that you are not important and do not matter.  All of this was to urge us on to the attentiveness of our own words of love and our patterns of assault and withdrawal.  The act of recognition is an act of faith that allows grace to work.  And in my own repentance and confession, I have many relationships that require God’s loving grace and mercy.

It is in that spirit and context that I want to say:
You, my friend, are beloved.
You are worthy.
You are the apple of God’s eye.
You are precious in God’s sight.
He created you just as you are for the soul purpose of delighting.
Delighting.
Delighting in your existence.
God looks at you and he smiles.
You are God’s beloved child.  And you are his friend.
Your soul knows it very well.
Please forgive me for when my words and actions did not display any of those truths.  If you need a friend, my attentiveness is not withdrawn from you.
Again, I do not require any response.  I only want that the words above that give life sink deeply into your soul, and all the rest fall away as nothing.

In Christ’s precious grip, 

Jennifer

snow-covered trestle bridge - Sumas, WA

Jon Stewart

This is cool - I just saw this press release today.  The comedian and former host of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart, teamed up with TAPS to launch a new institute to support those who are affected by grief.  I do not know a lot about the institute yet, but Jon Stewart was one of Ryan’s favorite comedians.  For years we used to curl up on the couch in the evening, after the kids went to bed, and watch the Daily show together, usually with a small mug of ice cream or a few cookies - Ryan’s favorite were Oreoes dunked in milk, which I teased him about and still find gross - Oreos are not supposed to be soggy...  But anyway, during many years of our marriage, I was too busy with kids and homeschooling to keep up to date with current events so I joked that the Daily Show filled me in with all I needed to know.  Ryan used to say that he sure hoped that was not true.  In reality it was kind of true - when the kids were little, my two main sources of current events were the comedically shared stories from Jon Stewart and from Ryan himself.  Ryan always kept very up-to-date on current events and would share his intelligent opinion with me on what was going on any time I asked.  He truly was watching Jon Stewart for the satirical or comedic spin put on an issue Ryan already knew well and had thought deeply about.  And I always loved that Ryan had a well thought out and logical response to just about every issue or complicated story that came up.  I learned so much just asking his thoughts.  Occasionally we debated a topic or respectfully shared differing viewpoints, but I mostly agreed with his stance on a wide variety of issues.  We generally agreed on most things in life anyway.  It was another minor grief last year (they say there are several hundred “minor griefs” for every major one) when I realized I now have to pay attention and research current events, on my own, if I want to stay connected with the world.  And I do try, and even try to engage the kids in that dialog, but goodness I do miss those conversations with Ryan.  So seeing Jon Stewart’s name pop up on my radar, with the TAPS press release (below), jogged those happy memories of our evenings spent sitting on the couch together, laughing, talking, and sharing desserts (unless the Oreo was dunked in milk, those were all his!).

Jon Stewart joins TAPS to launch new Institute for Hope and Healing

mercy is waiting

This morning I met with my small group from Renovare, via teleconference.  This is a group of six of us that are taking the two year course together but communicate together through our journey.  We talked about our residency together last week and “re-entry” back into life.  It was a beautiful time of conversation and prayer where six individuals, male and female, in different parts of the country (& Canada), in six different stages of life, and of six different backgrounds all came together to realize we are all at a place of wanting, seeking, desiring, and struggling to encounter God in the “ordinary places” of our lives.  The pains, the griefs, the work situations, the child-raising, the responsibilities we all face could consume us, but they don’t.  They don’t because we each are willing to be willing.  We are willing to put our trials and hurts and struggles out there in the open to each other, to be prayed over and encouraged in.  It is a vulnerable and raw place to be but, oh, the blessings of living in community with each other and of connectedness!  We need it.  Our souls cry out for it.  It is what we were created for.  Our souls know it well.
After the meeting, I heard the song (below) come on the radio.  It is called “If We’re Honest,” by Francesca Battistelli.  And to be completely honest, I don’t really care for the song.  The melody and tone just are not all that appealing to me, but the words spoke to me.  I heard “the dark seems safer than the light” and “bring your brokenness and I’ll bring mine” because “mercy’s waiting on the other side.”  That is totally where I am in life.  So many times the dark seems safer, like a cozy place for me to curl up and wait for healing.  But sometimes we have to take the initiative to pick up our broken selves and step into the light.  If you bring your brokenness, I will bring mine and we can enter the light together.  God is calling us to be his adult children, to not be content with being bottle-fed his directions and having to be told every single step to take.  At some point he has transformed our characters and hearts into a place where he wants us to take steps forward in faith, in truth, in trust, in creativity, in initiative, into fellowship and into the light.  And his abundant mercies meet our obedience in every step.  Just like a parent who rejoices at seeing their child do some good work without being told what and how to do it.  We rejoice when our children make right choices because we know their hearts and minds have learned and are in step with what we have taught them.  So, too, does God rejoice over us with gladness when we are honest with him and step forward into the creative and ordinary things he has asked us to have dominion and responsibility over.  God is present in all the ordinary places of my life, the conversations with others, the chores, the brokenness, and the invitation into the light.
So, my friends, if you bring your brokenness, I will too.
Mercy is waiting for us on the other side.

Flowers pushing through the snow - Sumas, WA

If We’re Honest Lyrics;

Truth is harder than a lie
The dark seems safer than the light
And everyone has a heart that loves to hide
I'm a mess and so are you
We've built walls nobody can get through
Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do

Bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine
'Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy's waiting on the other side
If we're honest
If we're honest 

Don't pretend to be something that you're not
Living life afraid of getting caught
There is freedom found when we lay our secrets down at the cross, at the cross

So bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine
'Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy's waiting on the other side
If we're honest
If we're hones

It would change our lives
It would set us free
It's what we need to be

So bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine
'Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy's waiting on the other side
If we're honest
If we're honest
If we're honest

Sledding with Renovaré friends  

Sledding fun

Renovaré residency 

Renovaré residency

 snow angel 😇 

 “But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.”
(Soren Kierkegaard) 

on God’s communication with us

Excerpts from Dallas Willard’s “Hearing God,” chapter four:

Our preexisting ideas and assumptions are what actually determine what we can see, hear or otherwise observe.  Our beliefs and opinions cannot be changed by stories and miraculous events alone.  

Successful prayer could not come from resentment and darkness and unhappiness, as a pipeline can be clogged with roots and dirt.

Witnessing God’s specific interventions in our lives - whether to guide us, speak to us or perform saving deeds on our behalf - does not automatically clear up our confusions or straighten out the entanglements of our hearts.  They may stimulate us to seek understanding; but they do not of themselves give us faith and understanding.  Our understanding must grow before we can have any significant appreciation of what we are experiencing on occasions when God intervenes in our lives. 

God in ordinary places

Earth’s crammed with Heaven,
and every common bush afire with God,
but only he who sees takes off his shoes.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

beauty

I am just returning home from a week away at my second residency - like literally just got home an hour ago from a midnight flight and I know I really need to sleep.  But my heart is overwhelmed and although I’m physically exhausted, sleep is being held off as I recollect my week. My heart is SO full from the experiences I had, I hardly have words.  I will write more after I have processed it all.  But for now, here is a song that touched my heart deeply this week as I was surrounded by beauty in every direction - beauty in forest walks, beauty in frozen lakes, beauty in snow gently falling, beauty in God’s sweet presence, beauty in conversations, beauty in others walking this path alongside me, beauty in tears, beauty in laughter, beauty in play, beauty in worship, beauty in thankful gratitude for the generous glimpses of eternity that we are gifted with on this side of heaven.

A beautiful song:
Why Do We Hunger for Beauty?

View from my room at the residency

Lyrics:

Dark are the branches reaching for light
High is the path of the hawk in its flight
Turning and gliding greeting the night
Why do we hunger for beauty?

Moon hanging lonely there in the sky
Looking so holy; a host held up high
Off in the distance train going by
Why does it move us cause us to sigh
Why do we hunger for beauty?

Frost on the window never the same
So many patterns fit in the frame
Captured in motion frozen in flame
And in the patterns is there a Name
Why do we hunger for beauty?
Why do we hunger for beauty?

faithfullness

Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

Cedar Springs Center in Sumas, WA

residencies

Last October I spent a week in Santa Barbara for my first semester residency with the Renovare Institute.  It was an absolutely amazing week at a beautiful retreat center in the Montecito hills overlooking the ocean.  The retreat center was right near Westmont College, where I attended for my bachelors degree, so that whole area brings back the most precious memories of my college years.  I loved my time living and learning in Santa Barbara, both during college and again this past October for my first residency.

This past December that retreat center and Westmont College were threatened by powerful Thomas Fire, the largest wildfire in California’s state history, but thankfully both campuses survived mostly unscathed.  In January, however, that gorgeous retreat center was absolutely devastated by the mudslides that swept through the Montecito area of Santa Barbara.  When I saw the pictures of the destruction at that location where I stayed last October - a place that is so dear to my heart - my heart was deeply grieved.  I have such precious memories of that week long residency there - all the learning I was blessed to be a part of and the amazing connections I made with other students and staff there.  The classrooms I learned in are now just gone, only foundations left under a sea of mud.  The chapel that I prayed and praised in was filled with mud and debris up to a person’s neck.  The dining hall I shared meals in, was devastated by a collapsed roof, crushed under the weight of the muddy debris.  The pool, hiking paths, and gardens where I spent time walking, fellowshipping, and praying by, all are filled in, covered, or gone.  

And of course seeing the images of the destruction all around the whole surrounding area, along with hearing the gut wrenching stories of sudden loss and devastation were utterly heartbreaking.  My alma mater campus was, thankfully, spared any destruction, but areas where I worked, shopped, visited, spent time, and called “home” during my college years are now gone or destroyed.  

So I am reminded from all of this that the “things” of earth are but temporary and life often has deep sorrow.  But the growth and experiences and relationships I had, both during my college years and then with my classmates this past October, those are what last.  The knowledge gained, the people who touched our lives, and the changes in our hearts in response are what we take with us.  We can try to cling to the “things” of this earth, but we will only be disappointed time and time again when destruction and sorrow happen.  But the love we receive and give, that only grows despite, and even through, destruction and sorrow on earth.  In fact I think destruction and sorrow can magnify love, if we let it.  Because a broken heart feels more.  A broken heart may feel deep pain but it also feels tremendous joy, neither of which a hardened heart can feel.  A broken heart lets love flow through in a way that a heart walled up in protection cannot feel.  God continually teaches me this lesson, over and over again.  This time with the imagery of a horrific mudslide.  But God’s message to me is always the same, keep your heart tender, vulnerable, and broken wide open, it is the way to live and love.  It is the way of Christ, a God who willingly entered the vulnerable state of the manger and the cross, and yet experienced the greatest joys.  I have said before that sorrow and joy coexist, but I think sorrow can even magnify joy.  When we let ourselves deeply feel the pain of loss and heartache of others, we can then receive the joy of resurrection, being lovingly lifted out of the destruction by a God who loves our souls, the things that last, more deeply and unconditionally than we can even fathom.  All else on earth will eventually fade away, but our souls - the parts of us that store memories, feel feelings, give and receive love, connect with others, and “experience” the world - that part of us was created to be deeply and eternally preserved and loved. 

I share all this now because I am packing and preparing for my second semester residency next week.  Please pray for me next week as I travel.  I will be up in Washington state this time.  And I know God has an amazing week planned.  Please pray for my children as they are with family while I am away.  And please pray that my heart be open wide to the new places, friendships, experiences, and lessons God has in store for me, whatever they may be, however they are given, and with whatever growth God knows I need.  May the experiences of the week transform my heart in ways that are eternal and lasting.

 “The darker the night, the brighter the stars,  The deeper the grief, the closer is God.”  (Dostoyevsky)

I was reading one morning by this fountain when a squirrel came up to take a drink

the precious chapel early in the morning

view from my room at the retreat center 

retreat center 

retreat center gardens 

Santa Barbara 

this classroom is gone now

Renovare classmates and staff - October 2017 

the chapel after the mudslide 

map of the retreat center damage 

view of the post-mudslide clean-up efforts

view of the retreat center from the air

what is the gospel? who am I?

These are a few more research paper notes I wanted to preserve. These two sections, What is the Gospel? and Who am I? follow my January notes here on: Who is God?

What is the Gospel?

            The gospel is the  personal invitation to participate in relationship with God, inside his Kingdom reign here on earth.  I can have confident hope that God is accessible today in every part of my present life through his Kingdom.  God has set aside a place for me to actively partake in the beautiful relationship of the Trinity, both now and forever.  God does not just seek to set up a future Kingdom for eternity, his Kingdom is available now to anyone willing to accept the offer.

In Matthew 3, when Jesus is baptized and ”the heavens were opened to him” (Matt. 3:16), God is announcing that the much anticipated Kingdom has now arrived.  From that point forward, we live in a time in which the Kingdom of God is available.  God does not need to give further laws or speak through prophets because he has now offered direct availability to himself.  The good news of the gospel is that participation in the Trinitarian relationship is presently open.  “The rule of God is now accessible to everyone.  Review your plans for living and base your life on this remarkable new opportunity.” (9)  The door has been swung wide open and God is asking me to join the Father, Son, and Spirit in their fellowship.

In Jesus, God has provided a very personal summons and a living example of what it is means to participate in the Kingdom.  “The reality of God’s rule, and all of the instrumentalities it involves, is present in action and available with and through the person of Jesus.” (9)  And I can enter that Kingdom by just wanting it and partaking, without even having all my beliefs correct, because I am God’s beloved creation.  “Personal need and confidence in Jesus permits any person to blunder right into God’s realm.” (9)  God delights in my action of engaging in his divine nature as his child and his friend, because relationship with him is what he created me for.  I was made as a place for God to reside and God “is restoring people to a state akin to the original sharing in the life of the Trinity that humankind lost through the Fall.” (1)  When God extends the invitation to share the fellowship of his Kingdom, he has in mind a loving and active fellowship with me.

            This offer to participate is the most abundantly generous and limitless invitation that exists.  Never has there been more hopeful words than to hear “You were meant to house the fullness of God.” (7)  And I am invited with such unearned grace that the offer can seem quite perplexing, as God extends this extravagant invitation to all, even the wicked and the ungrateful. (10)  This strikes “at the heart of the problem we have with grace: we don’t like it.  It seems unfair, but in reality it is perfectly fair.  God is gracious to all.” (7)  “He makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good” (Matt. 5:45).  God wants to reveal the belovedness of all his children, as he sees his creation, so that “from this place of inner security we may invest ourselves in… helping others discover how beloved they are.” (2)  The hope of the gospel invitation is meant to be shared.

This offer is radically tenderhearted because it originates from a self-sacrificing God who invites me, a sinner, to enter the fellowship of his abundant and holy love.  But with that pure and unconditional love, there also has to come the hate of my sin because a God who is righteous will stand against the evil that damages my soul.  “The dominant narrative of the Bible is a story of unearned grace, of a God whose love is not thwarted by human sinfulness, and of a Christ who dies for sinners.” (7)  The good news is that God never gives up and his will is to always be unconditionally loving me and hating my sin, simultaneously.

            I can trust a God who is infinitely personal and know he will accomplish his will.  When I accept the invitation to join my life with God, receiving the kind of life that flows in Jesus, the world becomes a safe place to dwell.  Pain, hardship, and grief still exist, but it all becomes bearable as I understand that my good and beautiful God gets the last word..  Jesus made a point of saying that if I rely on him I will never experience death.  I “will never see death… never taste death.” (John 8:51-52)  “The good news is that the destructive spiritual forces have already been defeated decisively.  So no matter how costly or painful the present contest, connected with the conquering Christ we shall ultimately overcome.” (2)  I am a treasure of God and I am a creation that will not cease to exist.  So are all those who love God and allow his love in return.  “He delights in them and intends to hold onto them.  He has even prepared for them an individualized eternal work in his vast universe.” (9)
            So as I think on my own life and make plans for it, in view of the message of the gospel, I realize my present hope is also a future hope.  I will not have to go through some terrible and final event called death but, instead, I have an assurance that my familiar life never ceases.  “God will preserve every one of his treasured friends in the wholeness of their personal experience precisely because he treasures them in that form… In fact, at ‘physical’ death we become conscious and enjoy a richness of experience we have never known before.” (9)  God values me, just as I am and as he created me to be, and God takes delight in seeing me embrace the gospel message to enter the triune fellowship that spreads into all of eternity.

Who am I?

            As I fully embrace who I am, I have confidence in eternity because I was created for the purpose of receiving God’s unearned love and entering into his joyous, creative works now and unceasingly.  A relational, self-sacrificial, and holy God brought forth creation to partake in the loving relationship of the Trinity.  And I have an inherent longing for the good and beautiful Kingdom life that God says I am worthy to participate in.  When I can allow myself to willingly enter this Kingdom fellowship of the triune God, I am daily being transformed into a more natural form of my eternal self. 

            I am God’s beloved.  As a ceaseless spiritual being, I long for his love because “it is the nature of the soul to need” and to let divine love sink deep into my heart. (6)  “We do not want merely to see beauty…We want something else which can hardly be put into words – to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.” (4)  Because I was created for the purpose of participating in a Kingdom of beauty, my soul will not be satisfied with anything less.  And yet I am a hesitant being; I am so often overly cautious, guarded, and timid about accepting this seemingly incomprehensible offer.  “We prefer to be wanted, warmly wanted, before we reveal our souls.” (9)

            Author Trevor Hudson, however, states we should seek full confidence in both our belovedness and God’s nearness in any circumstance, knowing that even the most awful of sins will not stop God from extending his love.  “Only then can we embark on the perilous inward journey… secure in the knowledge that nothing we uncover can render us unlovable to God.” (2)  I desperately need to be intentional in placing myself in a position to experience God’s Kingdom if I am ever to align my beliefs with his truth.  Author Gregg A. Ten Elshof states that, “no one has any trouble acting out their beliefs” but I recognize that my beliefs so often guide me incorrectly or give undue pause, if I do not let God reveal to me how he sees me. (8) 

And so I continually place myself inside the Kingdom to be directed where to go and what to do.  Just as we have seen that God is tenderhearted, he created my heart to be tender as well.  Living inside the Kingdom of God keeps my heart open to God’s teachings and transformation.  A hard heart may not feel pain, but it also will not feel joy.  And a hard heart is not teachable.  But God knows this and understands this; it is how he knit me together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13).  And through the gospel message, God meets me exactly where I am at and he leads me forward in a transformative relationship with him.  God brings me to have the mind of Jesus, but in my way that is unique and individual to me and my personality.

He teaches slowly in parables so that I can chew on the message, think on the words, and let it become a part of who I am, instead of just handed to me.  “When we open the Bible and begin to read slowly and listen for God, the Spirit illumines our mind and gives us a direct word from God.” (7)  He teaches me in a way distinctive to the time and place I am currently in.  God knows that I need different messages at different times in order for them to sink deep into my heart or for the messages to mean anything to me.  This process takes time.  So he patiently teaches me, reminding me to stay gentle, open, and receptive.  “God does show himself from time to time in the space of those who seek him.” (9)

            As a person who truly wants to experience God’s Kingdom, and all the joy associated with it, I have to learn to embrace my true self.  God works through what we consider natural processes and so he “appears in the quiet whisper of our Spirit-guided memories, thoughts, and feelings.” (5)  The transformation happening in my soul is a stripping away of the things that are not actually ‘me’ as God helps me understand the most natural form of myself.  “The arm of the Lord revealed is a person who understands.” (10)  Dallas Willard explained this process as taking little steps to trust so that I can learn who I am.  He also cautions that despairing who I am is the greatest barrier to understanding and receiving the Kingdom.

            The answer to most of my life problems can simply be found in that I do not look to find God present.  “To see God in what we think, do, and feel – in life with family, friends, colleagues, and casual acquaintances, in our busyness and our rest” is where I find my true identity, united with God in an active and fulfilling relationship." (5)  A sense of joy, peace, and contentment exists for those who are faithfully and honestly seeking to love God, serve him, and enter into work with him.  And that leads to the question Dallas Willard proposes, “What will my life be like when I find the Kingdom?” (10)  When my soul is restored to the true intent of what a human was created for, my life will be one in which I am participating by authority and power in the Kingdom. 

            By acknowledging the loving nature of the altogether good triune God and accepting the hope of the gospel, I expect to increase my need for participation in the Kingdom community.  “Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord find our desires, not too strong, but too weak.” (4)  May I go forward in life now seeking to live under the rule of the Kingdom of God, reconsidering and constantly readjusting my strategy for living so as to always stay in tune with God’s will.  May I stay actively connected within the loving relationship of the Trinity, living with the same tenderhearted vulnerability that God consistently demonstrates to me, and acting with obedience to the One who I trust to fiercely and persistently work for my eternal benefit and joy.  May my life be used by the loving and holy God as a way to share his gospel message of hope here on earth and then to enter into the joyous creative works of all eternity afterwards.  It is what God created me for, and that I know very well (Psalm 139:14).

Sources:

1) Fairbairn, Donald. Life in the Trinity; An Introduction to Theology with the Help of the Church Fathers. Downers Grove: InnerVarsity Press, 2009.
2) Hudson, Trevor. Discovering Our Spiritual Identity: Practices for God’s Beloved. Downers Grove: InnerVarsity Press, 2010.
3) Johnson, Darrell W.. Experiencing the Trinity. Vancouver: Regent College Publishing, 2002.
4) Lewis, C.S.. “The Weight of Glory.” Sermon for Church of St. Mary the Virgin, Oxford, June 8, 1942.
5) Manney, Jim. A Simple Life-changing Prayer. Chicago: Loyola Press, 2011.
6) Ortberg, John. Soul Keeping: Caring for the Most Important Part of You. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2014.
7) Smith, James Bryan. The Good and Beautiful God: Falling in Love with the God Jesus Knows. Downers Grove: InnerVarsity Press, 2009.
8) Ten Elshof, Gregg A. I Told Me So. Grand Rapids: Williams B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2009.
9) Willard, Dallas. The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering our Hidden Life in God. San Francisco: Harper Collins, 1997.
10) Willard, Dallas. “The Kingdom of God.” Teaching series for Hollywood Presbyterian Church, Hollywood, March – April, 1990.