your presence

This is such a painfully accurate view of loss and grief.  A lot of times people in our lives unintentionally "complicate" our grief.  The best thing you can do for a grieving person is simply sit by their side, breathe so they remember to, and let them not be okay.  What they need most is to know it is okay to not be okay.  It is in this quiet "not-okay-ness" that God begins to work.  God draws near to the broken-hearted and it is He who binds up their wounds.  But it it is a process that needs space and time to happen.  People who rush in to try to "fix" the situation, cheer a grieving person up, or who jump into service are possibly getting in God's way.  And those who back away in fear are missing the opportunity for God to use their presence as a healing agent.  So if you have a friend or family member shocked by the chaos of a sudden grief and you have no idea what to do, or they seem to ignore your request to help, just know it is totally okay to simply show up and sit silently by their side.  Listen if they need an ear, offer a shoulder if they need to cry, bring them a glass of water, but mostly just be there.  Your presence acknowledges to them that it is okay to not be okay - and that is enough.  It really is enough.  Because God handles the rest.

"Praise the Lord.  How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

The Lord builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the exiles of Israel.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.

Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.

The Lord sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground.

Sing to the Lord with grateful praise; make music to our God on the harp.

He covers the sky with clouds; he supplies the earth with rain and makes grass grow on the hills.

He provides food for the cattle and for the young ravens when they call.

His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;

the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Extol the Lord Jerusalem; praise your God, Zion.

He strengthens the bars of your gates and blesses your people within you.

He grants peace to your borders and satisfies you with the finest of wheat.

He sends his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly.

He spreads the snow like wool and scatters the frost like ashes.

He hurls down his hail like pebbles. Who can withstand his icy blast

He sends his word and melts them; he stirs up his breezes, and the waters flow.

He has revealed his word to Jacob; his laws and decrees to Israel.

He has done this for no other nation; they do not know his laws.

Praise the Lord." (Ps. 147)