house prayers

I ask for extra prayers this next week.  Tomorrow is the final walk through on our house, Tuesday we get the keys, and Thursday of next week is the day TMO has scheduled the delivery of our household goods.  And I honestly do no know how I feel about it.  I think I feel kind of numb actually. The kids are excited about their rooms and having their stuff back after all this time. So I am happy for the kids.  And I truly do love the house - God blessed us with the perfect spot.  And I have done so many PCS's and unpacked and set up a house so many times (9 houses actually) that the process is very familiar to me.  But I have never done this without Ryan.  Well, actually we did move once while he was deployed overseas, but you know what I mean.  This time I have to unpack and set up a house without Ryan.
I was not present for the pack-out of our Texas home.  The military handled all of that for us, thankfully.  And I was told they did their best to pack Ryan's personal items in separate boxes, labeled well, so I could set them aside and unpack them as I feel ready.  But I know I am going to be hit with a flood of mixed emotions next week as I unpack our household goods, like unwrapping Ryan's favorite cereal bowl or the family pictures or just about everything we collected together over fifteen years of marriage.  Part of me is super excited to see it all and hold it, letting me soak in memories and feel close to Ryan.  I want to have his stuff near, the same way I sleep with his quilt every night.  It will be comforting.  But I am also having a huge amount of anxiety over missing Ryan so much that I won't be able to handle it.  And anxiety over what the house will "feel" like.  Will it be a new normal that I can adjust to or will Ryan's absense be so overwhelmingly apparent that only sadness will take grip?  I just don't know.  I guess my anxiety really just is that - that I don't know how I will feel next week as I unpack or in the following weeks as we settle in.  So prayers would be appreciated (and visitors welcome!).  Please pray that I am able to withstand the flood of emotions that the coming weeks will bring, for myself and the kids, whatever they may be.  And that I will know and feel God's sustaining arms in the times I can't take that difficult next step.  Pray that He use my weaknesses as an opportunity to provide and show His abundant strength.