So
here is where my rambling thoughts went during the crazy month of May… I really,
really like dwelling in the knowledge that I am God’s “ceaseless spiritual
being.” After Ryan’s death two summers
ago, I really needed to hear that my spirit/heart/soul require ongoing
transformation because they are the “part” of me that carries on into eternity.
The reality of that not only brings me hope, but it provides the motivation I
often needed to “keep going” and to “do this grief thing” right. Thoughts of my presence and Ryan's presence in the eternal Kingdom also gave me fresh motivation to trust that there is a way to “do life” correctly on the days I did not “feel”
it. But the idea of bringing my physical
body, which is temporary, into this thought process of my own spiritual
transformation were met with much less than enthusiasm... In fact my first
thought really was to simply settle into Plato's view of duality -
good spirit versus evil matter. I mean, I can
work on my spirit and then kind of “ignore” my body and the physical reality I live
in because they will all at some point perish away, right? But I just do not think that is the way that
God wants me to see it all...
So I started with death. I
really could not begin to contemplate and wrestle with these ideas of physical
body without thinking about death. And all
this in a month – May - in which a wedding anniversary, Ryan’s birthday, and
Memorial day fall within, followed by the anniversary of his death. May is a
heavy month when it comes to realizing and acknowledging Ryan’s death. So as I prepared to take my children to visit
the cemetery last week, our annual visit on his birthday (daddy day), I had to help
an eleven-year old and a fifteen-year old acknowledge once again that their daddy’s
physical body was put into that ground. Even as I struggle to grasp
these “big" and weighty ideas, I also feel the full weight of guiding my children towards
an understanding of the body/spirit relationship.
I know in my mind that God made our bodies to honor him and yet I have
the blatant reality before me that our bodies do not last. My children’s daddy
is not physically here. My spirit and soul
seem worth “working on” because they are the parts of me that will go into
eternity but I know my physical body will one day be put in the ground as
well.
In thinking about death, I can easily see my eternal heart/spirit/soul as the center of all importance, simply
due to its unceasing nature. That is THE
part that will matter as I pass into eternal life. “At ‘physical’
death we become conscious and enjoy a richness of experience we have never
known before” (Dallas Willard). And I really needed to focus on how important
my eternal soul is at a time when it would have been so easy for me to become
entangled in the sorrow of my physical reality or be consumed by my loss
of Ryan (him in the “seen” world), all these past 23 months. I needed to hear that Kingdom life (life in
the spirit) is available now and that my spiritual, non-ceasing soul is the
focus of that life, even as I was consumed in grief and now as I am busy with the demands of
the physical and social reality in which I live.
But
God is quickly dismantling any idea of mind and matter being opposed to each other. Yes, I needed that “eternal” focus for a
time. It served an important purpose. In a lot of ways it saved me from pain
and trauma that could so easily have consumed my person.
But there is also a danger when we focus too much
on the spiritual, at the expense of seeing the physical as “corrupt,” evil, or simply unimportant
due to the fact that it is by nature perishing and passing away, “One can immediately see all around us that
the human body is a primary barrier to conformity to Christ. But this certainly was not God’s intent for
the body” (Dallas Willard). I think the
point is that both parts – spiritual and physical – are completely essential to
each other. And essentially good. Essentially good. Our spirit/heart/soul and our bodies that extend
into the physical world, were both created by an intrinsically good God. That alone is reason to place value on our
whole selves.
And I
think to move forward with life I also needed to see the value of my current,
physical reality. My physical body IS
important and the care of it is intensely important because it is so
intimately tied to the formation of my spirit and my heart. I could easily get “stuck” focusing on the
eternal and miss out on the blessings of the others all around me right now. My temporary body
has value partly because is it where I find and am found by others. It gives me five senses so that I can speak,
write, and read these words before you right now. It is how I
find you. It is how you find me. It was how I found and knew
Ryan. Just the fact that my physical
body is the means of my interaction with you and other children of God gives it enormous value. But also, my body is the created container,
the crucible if you will, where spiritual formation takes place. The habits that I choose to indulge or rid myself
of are bodily actions that can bring me closer or further away from my loving
God. I needed to realize how my body
plays the active role in placing my spirit in a position to interact with the
Kingdom of eternity now. “The body is not
just a physical system, but is inhabited by the real presence of Christ”
(Dallas Willard).
So I think if I had to use a philosophic
label for all these rambling thoughts, I would say that we are created to be
“holistically dualistic.” “Dualistic” in
that the spirit (our heart and soul) and the body (our presence in the physical
and social world) are two distinct parts of our person, but “holistic” in that
these two parts are so intimately interconnected that neither can be referenced
without understanding the other. Neither
can be valued without valuing the other.
In fact neither can function without the other, they are like different
types of threads that are woven together to form a whole person.
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