update

A few people have asked about if I am able to continue to homeschool and what this fall brings for us.  I don't remember who I have told what, so I thought I'd type an update here.  We are still homeschooling, the kids want to and I certainly do not want to take anything more away from them than they've already lost.  So we are attempting to get back on schedule with that.  I do plan to research and sign them up for some sort of an online academy soon that will take some of the planning off my plate (suggestions welcome!).  I'm still too exhausted trying to function daily to do all I did in years past.  And my big struggle is connecting to the local homeschool group.  The two activities we went to were very, very difficult for me.  I don't feel like my bubbly self and "faking it" isn't working well for me.  And I didn't realize how much we mamas talk about our families and husbands!  It is hard to converse while trying to avoid telling people my story - and I am not really ready to share it with strangers just yet.  Katherine and Charlie have not wanted to open up with new friends yet either.  I totally understand that.  But Katherine starts ballet class ‪on September 6th‬ and her dance school teacher seems super nice.  I am hopeful that will be a good fit for her.  She loves to dance.  She has chosen to do ballet 3 days a week and seems to be looking forward to it.  Charlie has chosen to do Cub Scouts and band (he played clarinet in Texas).  These activities all start next week of September, after Labor day.  So please pray that God has His hand in each of those activities and connections, as the kids and I attempt to step outside this little protective "bubble" we have been hermitting in. It will be a mentally exhausting week for us!

And we did find a home church.  God is good, He led us to the place he wanted me to be.  They have the "grief share" Bible study I have mentioned in previous posts.  It has been a safe place for me to share my story with others.  I mostly listened at first, but slowly found that I can talk about Ryan without having to explain.  The few ladies I've met there there are a blessing.  Katherine hasn't wanted to go with me to church yet, and I have been giving her space to make that choice.  But I plan to slowly get her more involved with church this fall.  Charlie was hesitant to go too until he saw the "free ice cream" for back-to-school Sunday and then he was good to go.   I love little boys.  :)

And lastly, we found a house.  Or actually God provided us, most unexpectedly, with the perfect place for us to be.  It is just down the street from my sister, we can literally walk back and forth.  Both Katherine and Charlie loved it right away and it felt "right" as soon as we walked in.  I really, really did not think I was ready to find a place to live yet, but this just fell into place.  Our household goods are in storage and we move in the last week of September.

We have mostly been staying with my sister's family these past two months - a joyful chaos of 4 cousins, 5 cats, 1 dog, 1 turtle, and 2 fish... (& sometimes a puppy, I will share about him in another post). The chaos though has been such a very welcome distraction to me.  And I love that when my nephew started kindergarten, I was nearby to hear about his first days and am able to pick him up or drop him off at school.  And my youngest nephew is just a ray of sunshine.  Even if I'm crying, when that baby toddles into the room, I can't help but smile.  And I get to hear him learn new words, his favorite right now is "turtle!"  God is surrounding the kids and I with love.  And my parents are nearby as well, something my military kids have never had before in their lives.

I am still not sure how having our own will house will be next month.  Actually I know it will be hard, but I know Katherine and Charlie are looking forward to having their stuff back.  And my sister is down the street.  And Ryan's family is planning to come stay with us too. So I guess I will just tackle that next difficult step the same way I've done all these previous ones, one day at a time, one breathe at a time, being thankful for God's strength when mine runs out.